I Was Diagnosed With Cancer, And…

My brain went to fuzz immediately. Yes ! I was panicked and here was my Doctor calmly recommending Chemotherapy?  This was denial in first and disbelief that why would I need chemotherapy at an earlier stage of Breast Cancer. Was it actually necessary? 

I had this fear, anger – self pity. As I drove back home, I was momentarily quiet and then crying. 

I didn’t want to expose my daughter to my state of affairs, I didn’t want to be bald or dead.  I cried some more-I was scared of chemotherapy. I realised I wouldn’t be able to tread back- and fell asleep crying.  Later when I woke up , I felt a little better, calm and more realistic. 

Being a single mother, I had to pull myself together. Even the bravest people feel afraid and I see no harm in it. So, after this couple of hours of break down, I resolved to live through my fears, manage them systematically. Couple of things worked for me, which I am going to share with people out there passing through a stage, I once did. 

DO NOT BE SCARED AND FACE THE REALITY 

In the months that followed, I took my fears out from time to time and would have another bout of crying.  It sounded so normal- trust me I emerged stronger . And other days, I would stay focused, concentrating on reality -my treatment, family, finances . I stopped worrying about time and what would happen to me. My thoughts started falling in better shape and I confess, no thinking – breathe in. breathe out -helped. Besides, being grateful  worked for me. First time, I realized – for small joys in life- I was to keep going. 

Fear gave me chills but didn’t paralyze me. But, I overcame it. The whole point that I would like to make is that stuff happens and would recommend everyone to get screened for breast cancer. And, breast cancer is curable if detected early and treated comprehensively and completely.